I'd expect it from teenagers

I though about this story now, because of what actually happened at our counter yesterday.

Young love is great.  The emotions involved are intense, the problem is the execution.  When your in your early teens, anytime you can be with your boyfriend/girlfriend away from your parents is fair game for a make-out session...I get that, I was there once.  Two years ago, I had what I call a tough time being a boss though.  One of the things I like to do is change things up on occasion and work a night shift.  I don't do it very often, but I like to see what's going on at different times. 

On this particular evening, a teenage couple walked in, bought a cup of coffee, and sat in two of the big leather couches.  Not too out of the ordinary, but you could tell they were in a new romance by how lovey-dovey they were with each other.  I just smiled and went about my business cleaning the back of the bar.  After a little bit, I happened to see some unusual movement coming from their direction and I was mortified!  Their clothing went from normal, to just barely there.  The girl also decided she needed to get closer, straddling her boyfriend, and making her barely there shorts even more barely there.  I thought I was about to witness a real live porn.

All of a sudden, everyone started looking at me in the room, waiting for me to do something.  Ok, seriously people, what the hell do you do?  I know the average person would think its easy to walk up to someone and tell them to get off each other, but I just went blank.  All I kept thinking was I wanted to ask him to return her tongue to her mouth, get back to their chairs, and put their seats in the upright position.  Honest to god, I went blank.  There was a room full of people expecting me to say something and all I could do is stand there and watch.

After my immediate shock, I went over to them and asked them to keep it G-rated for the rest of the patrons.  I think I looked more embarrassed than they did.  The funny part was, they decided they weren't finished yet, so they got up and went into the hallway to continue their session.  At that point, I gave up.  I decided I was not going to be the 'you're going to get pregnant' police since they weren't in my store anymore.  I was going to leave that to the janitor outside.

As I said in the beginning, the reason I remembered that story, was because of two adults that came to my shop the other day.  I actually new the girl, but her date I wasn't familiar with.  Anyway, on most occasions, Tim will take the order and I will be busy trying to make the drinks with my head down frothing milk.  All of a sudden I heard Tim stop talking, which is pretty rare at the counter. He was just about to burst into a laughing fit while trying to get my attention.  What I saw was pretty intense. 

This 'gentleman' took his date, bent her over the bar (seriously bent her over the bar!), and started to put his tongue down her throat.  I don't mind a little kissing here and there, but this was a full-on make out session, fully equipped with slurping noises.  I honestly couldn't make their drinks fast enough to get them to move on, but then they asked if they could have their drinks in mugs to stay.  I wanted to tell them a story about Tim dropping all of the mugs that morning, shattering each and every one of them, but there was a whole pile on top of the espresso machine.  I honestly love when people stick around the coffee shop and enjoy their coffee, but I didn't want to have to break up two adults during their love fest.

Anyway, they picked two of the leather couches to sit in, and I have to say, they did much better there.  I had one of my regulars come up in the beginning to tell me he heard slurping noises coming from their direction, but after they sat down, there were only a few awkward moments.  Thank God I didn't have to pull out my boss card, because I just don't think I had it in me that day! 

In honor of my prudeness and how uncomfortable this made me, I think I may have to see what the fascination is with the PDA's and coffee shop counters.  Next time I'm in another country, I'm going to bend Tim over the counter, stick my tongue down his throat, and see what they do.   Is it just me that sees this as inappropriate, or is it just that it wasn't Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston (yes I know their divorced, but I'd much rather see them kiss than Angelina..Personal preference I guess).