Teach your children well...They may be responsible for wiping your butt when your older!

There may be a few chapters to this category that will be added at a later post.  This one is about hiring new employees...my biggest challenge as a boss!  Well, the title of this blog is "Teach your children well...They may be responsible for wiping your butt when your older", because I think there are some serious problems that need to be tackled. 

Now I'm an equal opportunity employer.  I will hire anyone who shows me enthusiasm, a true wanting for the position, ability to have a proper conversation, and is willing to learn and listen.  Having some spunk and personality is a huge plus, but we can usually pull it out later.  Seriously, not rocket science, but still its hard to come by.  My peeps that work at the shop now rock, but it took a while to find them. 

Now a little history of the coffee shop and the employees..I've only had to let a few go, and let me tell you..that sucked!  If anyone tells you its easy to fire someone, they have a little asshole in them, because to look at someone and tell them their fired takes balls!  I don't care if they deserve it or not, its hard...I cried after each one of them.  I could find out they stole from me and I would still cry if I had to fire them.  I'd still fire them if they stole from me, but there would be guaranteed tears.  Maybe its because I'm a big weeney, but I'm just not cut out for that part of the job. 

Anyway, the grind has a history of employees sticking around for at least 3 years.  Its a fun and low key environment to work in and I usually only have to search for new employees every few years.  Seriously when that time rolls around, I wish we sold alcohol because I would be drinking myself silly behind the bar while handing out applications!

So to get to the good part of this blog, here are a few examples...

1) Crayon lover...Yes crayons.  As much as I loved growing up with those lovely colored wax sticks, I was never taught in any business class that a green crayon could take the place of a ball point pen.  I really don't care what color pen you use, but if you can't fit your name in the space alloted or if your work history looks like Cookie Monster from Sesame Street, maybe a crayon isn't the best form of writing utensil for the job.  This didn't just happen once unfortunatley, I've had two applications turned in with crayons. 

2) The Dreaded Parent.  Ok, this should be number one, but whatever.  This is my biggest pet pieve!!  Unless your dad is going to be making the drinks, cleaning up after you, and talking to my customers, get out of the interview!!!  Actually, don't even take the application.  If your son or daughter wants a job, get them off of the couch and send their ass down to pick up the application alone, so their potential boss can make a connection with them.  Also, under NO circumstances does it matter what you tell me their achievements are...If they can't do it themselves, then their not ready to be in public!  I realize your proud of them because your still wearing their 6th grade softball pin.  Let them grow up and learn how to get a job on their own though.  You have absolutely no place in the interview.  I actually had a Dad do the entire interview while the kid looked at me with a smile...the entire interview all she said was "hello" and "thank you".  I should never have done the interview, but some parents just trap you.  At least she was polite.  Grrr.  The parents want their child to have a job so bad, but the kid usually has no motivation.  It is not my job to make them want to work.  Enough said about that

3)Bringing in the competition...I don't even know how to get my head wrapped around this one.  Imagine a nice mom and pop restaurant in your community.  They work hard, long hours, lots of debt, and pretty fierce competition from franchises to deal with.  Well, imagine walking into their restaurant, sitting down at one of their tables, pulling out a bag of McDonalds, eating, then walking up to the owner asking if they are hiring while your slurping your last sip of cola out of the McDonalds wax cup.  Doesn't seem like that would happen right?  Wrong.  I can count on two hands how many people have walked up to me, taken a sip of their Starbucks coffee, then asked if we are hiring.  Really?  I get the Starbucks attraction, but don't ask for a job in my store holding one.  Just sayin'

Anyway, I could go on forever, but I'm not going to.  All I want to say is, if your going to have children, make sure you teach them the basics.  If you don't know the basics, there are classes on it.  I will try and continue helping them with their growth, but they need the foundation taught to them by their parents or guardian.  The importance of teaching kids how to function as kind, productive, hard workers with common sense will go so far.   Remember the title, if you don't teach them the basics now, then they may use scratchy toilet paper on you when your old dedicates need Charmin!